


Featured Story at 10: Poorly Masked Heroes Run Amok

by mildly_obsessed



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Tooru being obnoxious, What else is new, hangovers, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4900822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildly_obsessed/pseuds/mildly_obsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from a post by xaquaangelx on tumblr: we’re superheroes that got drunk last night oh god what’d we do au.</p><p>"Whoever he brought home last night has nestled themselves into a lump on the bed, having taken all the blankets and shoved a pillow over their head. So Tooru, being Tooru, snatches the pillow off, bellowing, 'Yahooooo! Wake up, time for you to get out of my apartment!'</p><p>Imagine his surprise when it’s Iwa-chan that rolls over, cracks angry, red eyes open and raises a shaky hand to flip Tooru the bird."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Featured Story at 10: Poorly Masked Heroes Run Amok

**Author's Note:**

> I borrowed a little from Tiger and Bunny in the sense that hero’s have sponsors and they try to keep their identities secret. But that’s about where the similarities end.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy!

Tooru wakes up like he usually does - slowly, groggily, and with zero desire to actually do so. But this morning his wake-up routine is complicated by a pounding headache and the feeling that he  _immediately_  needs to pee.

He groans loudly and buries his head in his pillow, trying to ignore his full bladder, knowing that it’s a losing battle and lamenting his need to have bodily functions despite otherwise being, well, superhuman.

He thinks, vaguely, that he wishes he could control liquid so that he could just float his pee to the toilet and wouldn’t have to leave his bed, but he can practically hear Iwa-chan screaming at him, “ _Get your lazy ass out of bed, Shittykawa! I **know**  you’re lying there thinking about pissing yourself!”_

That makes him laugh, which,  _mistake_ , because it seriously exacerbates his need to get to the bathroom. So he rolls out of bed and ends up racing to the toilet, exhaling deeply as he relieves himself.

He’s just about to flush the toilet when he hears an inhuman groan coming from the direction of his bedroom. Which, while not super unusual, is a bit surprising considering the last thing he remembers is drinking with Iwa-chan... Come to think of it, the whole not remembering things is weird too, because normally Iwa-chan stops him way,  _way_ before they get stupid drunk. 

But Tooru’s not alarmed; it wouldn’t be the first time he’s brought someone home for fun, and it won’t be the last. He has the idle thought that maybe he was finally successful in seducing his best friend/super-hero-rival-thing, but dismisses it completely because Iwa-chan has (unfortunately) been both insistent and consistent in (occasionally violently) shutting down Tooru’s advances.

The thought makes him sad and grumpy, and he hastily throws on some pajama pants from the bathroom floor before he makes his way back to his room to wake up whoever’s in his bed so he can throw them out and nurse his hangover in peace.

He’d feel bad about it, but his head hurts, and mostly he just doesn’t care about anything aside from putting on his sleep mask and taking the max dose of ibuprofen.

Whoever it is has nestled themselves into a lump on the bed, having taken all the blankets and shoved a pillow over their head. So Tooru, being Tooru, snatches the pillow off, bellowing, “Yahooooo! Wake up, time for you to get out of my apartment!”

Imagine his surprise when it’s Iwa-chan that rolls over, cracks angry, red eyes open and raises a shaky hand to flip the bird at Tooru, who is too shell-shocked to move.

“Iwa-chan?!”

“Fuck  _off_ , Trashkawa, I feel like shit.”

He rolls back over and goes to pull the covers over his head, but Tooru rips them away before he has a chance because he has to see,  _he_  woke up naked, and if  _Iwa-chan_  is naked, then they might have had sex and Tooru doesn’t even rememberand _holy shit, Iwa-chan is in the nude!!!_

 _“_ Iwa-chan, you’re naked!” Tooru shrieks, because that’s pretty much what all he can process.

Hajime peels himself off the bed and into a sitting position, rubbing his hands down his face.

“People are generally naked when they sleep together, idiot,” he mumbles, and Tooru winces when he sees realization hit him. “Oh my god, you don’t remember.”

Tooru is completely stunned, so of course his brain-to-mouth filter shuts off and he wails, “Nooooo! I finally had Iwa-chan and I don’t even remember! The tragedy is too much!”

Hajime sighs heavily, then flops back onto the bed.

“To be fair, I only remember bits and pieces. Everything gets fuzzy or blank after about drink number five... Damn that geezer, insisting he buy us bottle after bottle...”

Tooru’s brain is finally getting itself back together, though his headache is returning full-force.

“That’s right, Grandpa-chan was buying us sake, and you were too polite to refuse, so we got really drunk...” Tooru trails off, taking out his phone. If Iwa-chan had agreed to go home with him, he inevitably would have texted his jubilation to Mattsun or Makki, hell, maybe even (smugly) Tobio.

But for some reason, his phone is off. When he turns it on, he sees why: 20 missed calls, and 30 new texts.

To his horror, the texts and calls are 90% from his sponsor, Sacchan, which means that Tooru must have really,  _really_  fucked up.

He opens the latest one, which simply says,  _Turn on the news when you wake up, then call me immediately. You’re in deep - can’t tell if good or bad yet._

Tooru gulps, but smiles and says, “Iwa-chan, we may have fucked up.”

Hajime groans and stands up to look for his phone. Tooru admires the view for a moment, not failing to notice the slight awkwardness to Hajime’s movements.

‘I fucked him and I have no recollection of how he even kisses! Life is too cruel!’

Tooru stands on shaky legs and heads to the kitchen, flipping on the TV as he goes and turning it to his DVR to play the morning’s news as he starts a pot of coffee. He hears Iwa-chan's sponsor, some frazzle-brained newbie named Hinata screaming at him through the phone all the way from the bedroom. He almost feels bad for Iwa-chan, but Tooru knows that what Sacchan is going to put him through once he finds out exactly what he and Iwa-chan got up to last night is going to be infinitely worse than Hinata freaking out.

He’s rooting around for the ibuprofen when he hears it.

“Last night, two unidentified persons ran amok in the city, causing disturbances in several apartment buildings and in three local police boxes. Wearing poorly constructed masks made of what appear to be their shirts, the two males broke into the homes of eight known criminals, tying their arms and legs together and leaving them gagged and nude in front of the three police boxes. We have a short clip of the two here.”

Tooru can’t help but burst out laughing as soon as the video starts: They had apparently cut up their shirts to make holes for eyes and mouths, and the video captures both him and Iwa-chan carrying naked criminals above their heads (perks of super-strength), and Tooru is shouting, “Eww, Iwa-chan, you toushed his BUTT!” To which Iwa-chan returns, “Shuddup, Trassssshhhhkawa, you -hic- got that other guy’s DINGLE caught in his zipper and had to fixsh it!”

The clip cuts off, and the newscaster continues, “Police suspect this is the work of two Heroes, but no one has come forward to claim the captures.”

“That’s not surprising, considering the nature of the apprehensions... Can’t say their sponsors will be too happy about this!” her co-host says, and Tooru is caught between hysterical laughter and wanting to cry.

That’s when Hajime walks into the kitchen in just his unbuttoned pants, bless his little tease of a heart.

“You wanna see the coverage?” Tooru asks, and Hajime nods reluctantly, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

The tomato color that his face turns is so hilarious that Tooru starts laughing all over again.

“I don’t know why  _you’re_  so amused, Shittykawa. If anyone finds out that’s us, we’re in deep shit. It’s obvious we’re Heroes, thank god we at least used nicknames...”

“Mah, mah, settle down Iwa-chan, I’m sure it’s fine.”

Hajime gives him a dubious look and then snorts. “Talk to me after you’ve called Sawamura-san.”

“Sacchan can wait,” Tooru says, determined to put that off. Instead, he puts down his coffee and saunters over to Hajime, tugging gently on his belt loops as he purrs, “So, what made you change your mind, hmm, Iwa-chan?”

Tooru smiles when Hajime doesn’t shove him away, instead just blushing and saying, “You... Really don’t remember?”

“Nope. But it must have been good, you’ve always said no before...”

Hajime sighs, and gently pushes Tooru away. Tooru frowns deeply as Hajime buttons his pants and starts making his way to the bedroom, mumbling, “Doesn’t remember... probably didn’t mean it...”

But Tooru isn’t going to let him leave this conversation, lunging after him and grabbing his arm to yank him around.

“What don’t I remember? What do you think I didn’t mean?”

Hajime gives him an intense look, before breaking the gaze to stare at the ceiling.

“It’s nothing.”

“Hajime.”

The use of his first name gets his attention, and Hajime’s blush deepens that much further. He looks like he desperately wants to blurt something out, but is shoving it down as hard as he possibly can. He eventually breaks, rubbing the back of his head as he tells the story.

“You said... You told me you loved me. You said you were in love with me, really serious, and you went on about how you’ve loved me since we were kids and wanted me... And you said some more stuff, but I can’t even repeat it without dying of embarrassment.”

It’s Tooru’s turn to blush. God, that’s so embarrassing, even though he knows he meant every word he probably said. That kind of confession sounds like the ones seen in dramas, and oh, fuck.

But Hajime didn’t run away. In fact, he gave himself to Tooru. Maybe he’d finally, finally realized how serious Tooru has always been about him.

So Tooru sighs, brings his forehead to meet Hajime’s, and says, “Well, embarrassing as drunk me is, he’s also very honest.”

There’s a long pause, and Tooru is holding his breath, scared of shattering the moment. But then he feels Hajime’s hands brush his sides before coming fully around his waist, pulling Tooru’s body against his in a gentle hug.

“Then let’s go back to bed and sleep for a few hours. Then you can show me again just how much you mean it,” Hajime mumble-whispers, and Tooru knows he’s embarrassed at his own words.

He smiles against Hajime’s neck, a warm burst of joy filling him and making him feel like he’ll fly into pieces at any moment. It’s unlike any euphoria he’s ever had before; no sex, swarm of screaming fangirls, or Hero rescue could ever compare to the excitement and overwhelming rush he’s feeling right at that moment, standing in his kitchen holding Iwa-chan and smelling like a hangover.

Somehow, he couldn’t imagine it any other way.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://t0biochan.tumblr.com)


End file.
